Working on this project has been a great challenge for me and the end result is far from my original concept. My intentions changed due to obstacles I wasn't able to overcome but there is still an essence of this original concept. In this video I aimed to show a girl who seems to have this passion with dancing, ballet mainly. Like many things in life, things don't always go the way they are dreamt or planned and so you must "pack" those ideas away. Sometimes what you love to do and what you need to do can be two very different things and you adapt for that change. Like the girl in the video shows, sometimes the passion never dies and it is just waiting for you to take it off the back burner.

My aim was to mix the dream with reality and to show the ability to still hold onto the dream in the little things you do or in the moments when you need to escape from the reality. I feel like I didn't accomplish everything that I had wanted to as of this point but I would like to continue to work on this to incorporate more of my concept more clearly. In its completion I want the viewer to take away the idea that this girl, no matter how different her real life as a nurse may seem from her dancing dream she still manages to keep it close to her.

To describe my project in a nutshell is a bit difficult seeing as how it has not reached it's full conceptual potential as I had planned. Given what is complete thus far, however, it would be safe to say that it is a video about a girl who has a hidden love affair with ballet but whose real life resembles very little of this passion.

Rae's Presentation

One of the best things about Rae's presentation was how excited he was to share this work with us! When he asked if we knew about this particular artist and none of us knew, he was thrilled to show her to us b/c he thought she was someone we NEEDED to know about! My favorite artist that he introduced was Pepe Orosio (I think that was his first name) b/c he was a Puerto Rican artist and so that's good enough in my book! I also liked him b/c his pieces were visually packed to the point of chaos but it made you want to look at the screen longer to figure out all of the elements. Rae did a wonderful job with his presentation! He was engaging and made me feel like I wanted to learn more b/c he was so passionate and excited about what he was sharing.

Finally Proposal

The objective for my midterm images was to portray the classic beauty often associated with ballet. I wanted to present something that looked very classical and romanticized. This idea was inspired by a song by classical opera singer Josh Groban, entitled "So She Dances." The lyrics speak about a lady captivated by her dancing as well as her grace and intimacy with what she feels. My sister is also a source of inspiration for this project because she was a dan er but she gave up this dram of dancing to pursue other ventures. I imagine her when I hear this song because I can feel her passion and see a sense of something missing because this is a dream she had to leave behind.

My direction for the final video has not been an easy concept for me to concretely define until very recently and it is still a work in progress. My goal is to create a piece that mimics the sentiments of the song (although it will only be a piano track without the lyrics) but to include interferences of noises/sounds that are representative of thos things that interfere in the pursuit of our dreams. I want it to still portray the classic beauty and romanticization as in my midterm but I'd also like for it to reflect a course, as in life, that is less smooth, one with hiccups.

For the final video I'm including a few elements that pull my sister into this piece although this isn't biographical; it is inspired by but not based on her. These elements include old photographs and home videos of her dancing as a child as well as my mother's ballerina jewelry box.

Final Proposal...kind of!

As I told you in class, I'm having this "writer's block" when it comes to writing my proposal b/c I feel like I don't have my thoughts together enough to put it down in writing. I'm working on it, however, and hope that I will have something concrete by tomorrow! My thoughts thus far center around what I wrote about in my last blog and so I hope that is a good reference for the time being until I get over my brainfart!

from the beginning of this class and matter of fact, even before that, i knew what i wanted to do and had (almost) everything worked out formally and conceptually. and then i had my midterm critique which threw me for a loop! i think in explaining the background of my concept i made it seem way more narrative and biographical than i had intended. i was trying to give background about my sister who is the inspiration for my project but i think i made it seem like it was a project about her-it's not about her per say!

the song ("so she dances") + my sister + passion + rhythmic/melodic flow + soundtracks to one's life...were among the ideas and inspirations for this project. my original thoughts were to use this particular song which is beautiful and sensual and create a visual representation using any ballet dancers i could find. before sama's miraculous insight (thanks a million!) i had planned on using volunteer dancers to perform to this song b/c i didn't want to include my sister until the very end when i played my video for her. the story i want to illustrate is that of a dancer engulfed in the power of her dancing and the pull of the music and passion. the idea of involving my sister came later on but was not intended to change the concept of the piece but only to enhance the personal relationship of the dancer to the inspiration/person who this piece is tributed to-my sister. she in essence is creating a personal tribute of her own and in a sense memorializing an unpursued dream.

more to come...

This semester so far has been frustrating to say the least! Before it even started I knew exactly what I wanted to do since this would be my last semester and the chance to finally do what I've been wanting to do. I thought that since I knew what I wanted to do and had planned and thought up everything extensively that it would be easier to execute my ideas. NOPE!! I seemed to run into little roadblocks more often than I would have liked but now things are finally starting to work themselves out. I was able to shoot in a music rehearsal room that would be somewhat suitable but just the other day found an actual studio that will allow my model to dance. Also, the music track to my video is a piano solo of the song that inspired me and it just so happened that there was a piano in this music room--I'll take any little victories I can get!

Video #5 Response (Bader)

My favorite part of Bader's video is the reaction sequence in which she records the reactions of viewers to video she has taken from their "homeland." I think there is something really powerful in witnessing someone's emotions toward something without actually knowing what they're seeing. Body language and breathing patterns and facial expressions are strong signifiers and it was brilliant of her to capture/include that.

I also really liked the diptych sequences in which she showed the dichotomy of the past versus the present. This actually gives me a really good idea with my video project b/c I am "honoring" someone's actions from a past perspective and comparing it with a present dream perspective. To see that side by side would be powerful and effective for me and hopefully my "honoree."

Digital vs. Traditional Photography

I'm one of those who favors traditional photography/photographic techniques but I have respect for both. I think I favor film b/c that's how I started out, like most people, and I became accustomed to it and I feel like I know it best. There is so much to know about post production digital imaging and even about using a digital slr in general that it can be overwhelming. Black and white film is my friend!

I don't discredit digital photography b/c the root of it's being is to create photographs just through a different means than what was traditionally accepted. To some extent I do feel like there is more opportunity to fake/manipulate something in digital imaging b/c that is, to a degree, the purpose of it. Taking the actual photograph is in most cases only the beginning of the creative process. And while photoshop requires an abundant amount of information/techniques to know, I do feel like it is easier to shoot digitally...or maybe just more convenient! Last semester I was in a crunch for time so a lot of my work was digital. I didn't have to develop my film or spend hours in the darkroom but I did stare at my computer screen for large spans of time!

For me, I think I'm more connected to film b/c I believe it makes me work harder and think more intuitively about situations before I actually take the picture. I think it makes me own my work more b/c of the thought and time put into it. Also, knowing that film can add up to be relatively expensive makes me not want to waste--there's no erase button to erase crappy pictures! Maybe in time I'll get more in touch with digital when I've been working with it more b/c to date, my background is in black and white film and I tend to stick with what I know...well.

sigh...of relief! it's amazing how beneficial someone else's ideas are to helping you see through an obstacle and find a solution! thank you sama! my "can do" attitude has been restored and i feel extremely motivated and optimistic to create this piece. sigh.

to say my mind is overwhelmed is an understatement! it is the last semester of my college career and never in my life have i been more terrified nor more excited! i can't wait to get my degree yet i can definitely wait for the big bad world to chew me up and spit me out! aaaahhh! the great thing about my final semester is that i finally have the opportunity to make work that is truly for me and that i really feel passionate about doing without having to fulfill requirements of assignments. so this is a really good thing, right? yes...but no! now it's all on me and i have nothing to lean on but myself and my fear seems to almost be getting the best of me--i'm scared! i know it's a little ridiculous and even in my anxiety of this monumentous semester, the artist in me doesn't sit back; it seems to be drawing ideas from this situation and thinking about how to visually communicate that. how do i show people how i feel? most people know me as the lady who has everything together so i toss around the idea of letting people in to know--do i really want people to know?! no! but would it make me feel better to just let it go? maybe a visual sigh? maybe! we'll see! i might even change my mind and no one will ever know how i was feeling and i don't think that would bother me either.

thinking about this crossroad that i'm at reminds me of an artist that a fellow student got me interested in: sabrina ward harrison. one of her books, "spilling over" journals her struggles with growing up, her memories, and the people and events in her life. i really enjoyed the imagery and really feel like i can draw a lot of inspiration from her so she/her book will be a great resource. i'm also interested in the self-portrait work of nancy roberts who uses a similar photographic journalistic style and i will use her as another resource.

Video #4 Response (Justus)

There's definitely a big difference in complexity between this video and the three previous videos we've viewed. His technique is much more simpler and b/c I'm very intimidated by this assignment, it is comforting to see something more along the lines of my abilities. There are easy transitions, no text (although I'd like to use text), simple audio, and many still photographs which I know I will be relying heavily upon. I like his technique of portraying his coming out conversation with his parents; I thought it was effective and creative and definitely thoughtful. Very simple, straight-forward and to the point, non-nauseating!

Video #3 Response (Alshaibi)

WHOOOOAA! First thing that comes to mind is that this video was nauseating! Had it continued on much longer I might have vomited! It was like a car crash: you didn't want to watch but you couldn't tear your eyes off the scene. The imagery is intense and insanely fascinating! My hat goes off to the amount of patience he had in order to create this video. I noticed that unlike the other video we saw that day which had depth b/c of the layers of images, this video has a great amount of depth and movement that helped to carry/move it along. It was very dramatic as well, not just b/c of the music but I felt like there were definite moments of climax where the patterns would become more intense or they would multiply so that they took over the screen. I know that b/c of resolution this video was meant to be seen on a smaller format t.v. but I would really enjoy it if it was shown at an IMAX theatre so it would be that much more obnoxious (in an intense, overwhelming way--not in a bad way) and nauseating!

Video #2 Response (SOS)

Going into the video knowing that there were issues with how people received the text made me more aware of how I would approach it. So I didn't focus on just the text entirely or just the images entirely; I read a little and watched a little of both. I think that helped b/c I understood enough from the text but what I didn't read I was able to pick up from the video. Text aside, I felt like there were so many images in the video that it was a little difficult to take in b/c there was so much visual stimulus to absorb and it was changing at such a pace that it was distracting. When this happened I would revert to the text and when I got tired of reading I'd go back to the video or when I felt like I was getting enough info I'd go back to the video. In this sense, I think it was extremely successful to incorporate both text and visual b/c they would be lost without each other.

This is something that has relevance to my work b/c like I've said in previous blogs, I really like incorporating text in my work b/c sometimes I feel like text would aid the viewer's understanding or help communicate my meaning. I hesitate, though, b/c I don't know that it would hurt the work or, like in the case of this video, help it.

ideas for my project...

honestly, the idea of creating a video really intimidates me and it's making it that much harder to conceptualize a project i'd like to work on for the semester! eek! i've mentioned in previous blog entries about my fascination with the concept of "the soundtrack of my life" and i would like to somehow realize that idea visually outside of my head for others to see. i've actually been toying around with the idea of a song that's not so much about my life but about my older sister and i think that might be the direction i'd go but i'm also thinking about that same idea for another class so...it's a work in progress!!

Video #1 Response (Hirak)

I think I've always responded to text rather well; just have always been one of those people who would rather read something myself than to have it read to me. Maybe it's a control thing, but I feel like it's easier to absorb or to understand when I have to read and translate meaning on my own. Even though the sister was saying exactly what I was reading, I still found it more appealing to have the ability to read as well. I also really enjoyed the bombardment of text he used on a plain black background. I've pondered many times how I may be able to use text in my own work and it just never seems to work well; it just seems out of place. What I like about this guy's work, though, is that everything seems really out of place but it's effective for me still. This said, however, the still images throw me off. There doesn't seem to be any cohesion between the few images and the text and even the audio of an airplane or something flying over is odd.

I went to the Phoenix Art Museum last semester to see the "Berlin Show" and there was a video that had a similar bombardment sort of feel both with imagery and audio and sometimes it seemed to work but then sometimes it was confusing yet pleasant. It had that sort of soundtrack to someone's life kind of quality and I get the same feeling from Brent's video. It's actually something that has inspired some ideas for work I'd like to create in the near future.