As it turns out, some of the most mundane of days can turn out to be really splendid.

My 26th birthday is in eight days. In my family, there is a long-standing tradition of my mom making our requested dinner and cake/pie/cheesecake of choice and the whole family gathers at my parents' house to celebrate. Being 1600 miles away from my family, however, makes this event impossible.

Not wanting to feel depressed by the emptiness this birthday brings, I set out to find the best recipe I could find for mocha cupcakes. It should be noted that although there are at least a dozen cupcakeries in Seattle, I am still quite partial to my mocha cupcake from Sprinkles! This cupcake recipe mission went on for a couple hours and I found some great foodie blogs and recipes, perhaps even the perfect one for my birthday cupcakes. While this went on, the Eagles/Packers game played in the background, but the pain of my Colts' loss last night is still strong so this game was just for background noise, not enjoyment.

Often times when I'm staring at my computer screen for hours, as is the case when I'm depressingly job hunting 12 hours a day, I forget to look up and appreciate the view outside. Some days I'm greeted by bright blue skies and others its more of that milky, overcast sky that most people think of when they think of Seattle. But on this day, the scene was far more exciting! I leaped out of my chair, smile from ear to ear and giddy like a child on Christmas morning because there is nothing like a snow flurry filled sky, a snow globe right outside my door! It's the little things for me...

Finding Purpose & A Plan

It’s taken me three and a half years after graduating college and a 1600-mile move to Seattle to realize the direction I want for my life, a plan, if you will. To a degree it’s a bit of a relief yet at the same time a bit overwhelming as well. And while being away from my family, who thankfully supported my decision to move, has been trying, I couldn’t imagine a better place to be. Seattle has been an awakening experience, one that I’m embracing wholeheartedly.

No matter the mix of emotions, I’m ready to dedicate myself to bringing my plan to fruition, finding purpose and dedication in my journey.

July 2009...

It's been two years since I graduated from The University of Arizona's School of Fine Arts with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Photography. Sounds fancy, right?! So that must mean the reason I haven't updated my blog since then is due to my completely hectic schedule as a fine art photographer: gallery showings, travel, etc. Not so much! I haven't had a gallery showing since I graduated. I've traveled minimally as a photographer but not to pursue those projects that I'm truly passionate about.

I knew that going to school for photography didn't mean I'd have a better chance at landing my dream job nor that people would be handing out high paying jobs for me. The term "starving artist" was a reality I knew I would have to deal with. After graduation I received a management position with my company and knew financially it was the best thing for me at the time given the lack of openings in my field. Two years later, I've moved out of Tucson to Chandler (not a huge move, I know, but a move nonetheless!) still working in management with my company. Perhaps, given these hard economic times, it is not the best time to be getting this "itch" to break out and actively pursue my passion, but these past few months have had me anxious. I'm in a state of struggle, wanting to pursue my passion of social/humanitarian documentary and feel fulfilled. I'm a little stuck because I'm not at a place where I can take that liberty to pursue it. The best move would probably be to start shooting yet I'm not! Stuck again.

So begins that endless cycle to create work that is not only personally fulfilling and meaningful, but also speaks to those who will see it and in the best case, create awareness of the struggles and beauty around us.

Working on this project has been a great challenge for me and the end result is far from my original concept. My intentions changed due to obstacles I wasn't able to overcome but there is still an essence of this original concept. In this video I aimed to show a girl who seems to have this passion with dancing, ballet mainly. Like many things in life, things don't always go the way they are dreamt or planned and so you must "pack" those ideas away. Sometimes what you love to do and what you need to do can be two very different things and you adapt for that change. Like the girl in the video shows, sometimes the passion never dies and it is just waiting for you to take it off the back burner.

My aim was to mix the dream with reality and to show the ability to still hold onto the dream in the little things you do or in the moments when you need to escape from the reality. I feel like I didn't accomplish everything that I had wanted to as of this point but I would like to continue to work on this to incorporate more of my concept more clearly. In its completion I want the viewer to take away the idea that this girl, no matter how different her real life as a nurse may seem from her dancing dream she still manages to keep it close to her.

To describe my project in a nutshell is a bit difficult seeing as how it has not reached it's full conceptual potential as I had planned. Given what is complete thus far, however, it would be safe to say that it is a video about a girl who has a hidden love affair with ballet but whose real life resembles very little of this passion.

Rae's Presentation

One of the best things about Rae's presentation was how excited he was to share this work with us! When he asked if we knew about this particular artist and none of us knew, he was thrilled to show her to us b/c he thought she was someone we NEEDED to know about! My favorite artist that he introduced was Pepe Orosio (I think that was his first name) b/c he was a Puerto Rican artist and so that's good enough in my book! I also liked him b/c his pieces were visually packed to the point of chaos but it made you want to look at the screen longer to figure out all of the elements. Rae did a wonderful job with his presentation! He was engaging and made me feel like I wanted to learn more b/c he was so passionate and excited about what he was sharing.

Finally Proposal

The objective for my midterm images was to portray the classic beauty often associated with ballet. I wanted to present something that looked very classical and romanticized. This idea was inspired by a song by classical opera singer Josh Groban, entitled "So She Dances." The lyrics speak about a lady captivated by her dancing as well as her grace and intimacy with what she feels. My sister is also a source of inspiration for this project because she was a dan er but she gave up this dram of dancing to pursue other ventures. I imagine her when I hear this song because I can feel her passion and see a sense of something missing because this is a dream she had to leave behind.

My direction for the final video has not been an easy concept for me to concretely define until very recently and it is still a work in progress. My goal is to create a piece that mimics the sentiments of the song (although it will only be a piano track without the lyrics) but to include interferences of noises/sounds that are representative of thos things that interfere in the pursuit of our dreams. I want it to still portray the classic beauty and romanticization as in my midterm but I'd also like for it to reflect a course, as in life, that is less smooth, one with hiccups.

For the final video I'm including a few elements that pull my sister into this piece although this isn't biographical; it is inspired by but not based on her. These elements include old photographs and home videos of her dancing as a child as well as my mother's ballerina jewelry box.

Final Proposal...kind of!

As I told you in class, I'm having this "writer's block" when it comes to writing my proposal b/c I feel like I don't have my thoughts together enough to put it down in writing. I'm working on it, however, and hope that I will have something concrete by tomorrow! My thoughts thus far center around what I wrote about in my last blog and so I hope that is a good reference for the time being until I get over my brainfart!

from the beginning of this class and matter of fact, even before that, i knew what i wanted to do and had (almost) everything worked out formally and conceptually. and then i had my midterm critique which threw me for a loop! i think in explaining the background of my concept i made it seem way more narrative and biographical than i had intended. i was trying to give background about my sister who is the inspiration for my project but i think i made it seem like it was a project about her-it's not about her per say!

the song ("so she dances") + my sister + passion + rhythmic/melodic flow + soundtracks to one's life...were among the ideas and inspirations for this project. my original thoughts were to use this particular song which is beautiful and sensual and create a visual representation using any ballet dancers i could find. before sama's miraculous insight (thanks a million!) i had planned on using volunteer dancers to perform to this song b/c i didn't want to include my sister until the very end when i played my video for her. the story i want to illustrate is that of a dancer engulfed in the power of her dancing and the pull of the music and passion. the idea of involving my sister came later on but was not intended to change the concept of the piece but only to enhance the personal relationship of the dancer to the inspiration/person who this piece is tributed to-my sister. she in essence is creating a personal tribute of her own and in a sense memorializing an unpursued dream.

more to come...